Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
He doesn't belong with God. He belongs face-down in a pile of his own excrement, vomit, blood and semen. Then pissed on by Satan.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
Like do you hear me I PUKED IN MY OWN HANDS AND HE STILL SAID I WAS GORGEOUS
lesson learned.. dressing up like a naughty teacher doesn't mean you can get away with spanking a cop with a ruler for being "fresh" with you
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Suppose hypothetically u received a request for face time communication with a gentleman who looked astonishingly like a penis. Would you indulge him in conversation? Hypothetically of course.
I was alternating between saying "yall need Jesus" and "God bless" the entire night
Out of ten? A seven. You pulled your shorts down to your ankles, jumped into the pool and announced you were a merman.
I was masterbating to some porn on my phone and my mom decides to text me "are you okay?" I mean i was doing great until you cock blocked me mom..
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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