I don't apprectiate you insinuating that my breasts have a sort of bremuda triangle effect
He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
New Jersey isn't a real state, it's just a myth you tell little kids to scare them like Canada or Carrot Top
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
normally i would apologize for my drunk texting but even sober me agrees.
I'm expecting you to come by soon and a magical night of sex and floating on clouds to follow.
The multiple male orgasm is a real thing. I've seen it. I've caused it. I called him a unicorn.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
wyd
Laying here debating on if i want a sandwich or an orgasm.
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
I wish I got tanner on friday but I feel like I spent most of my time puking in the bathroom. I love my life
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