Have you finally orgasmed yet?
yeah it was kind of like, i'm 27 and still live in a frat house.. you honestly expect me to have "moral fiber" and a "conscience"
thus making me awesome and them whores
Should I be offended if he asked if he could use saran wrap to eat me out?
you make it seem like sunflower seeds and pinot grigio are not in the food pyramid.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
So my birthday was awesome. Only remember 45 min of it but I woke up with a girl on the couch and a half bowl of ground beef
Well when you get back to your computer, there's a nice explanation of pansexuality on your Skype.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
You need to be full form and virile tomorrow so I can live vicariously through your rub and tug.
I just stole some rubbers from the girl I stayed with last night so I can use them on a different girl today..
If the world ends and i have no vodka please just kill me.
The sun is out, the birds are chirping, I made some brownies, I'm not pregnant
This is literally what my 13-year old cousin said to me this morning.
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
I need some buff guys to cuddle me and call me precious
Randomize
