My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
My boss just called me into his office to apologize for being an "inadvertant cockblock"
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
Im drinking ciroc out of an ice cream cone... my night is going fantastic
I went limp when I heard her mom fart from her parents bedroom. It lasted longer than my hard on.
When the nurse referred to my vag as "your downstairs", I knew I found the perfect Doctors office.
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
What did you two do last night and why did Sam send me a picture of your dick?
THANKS BE TO BLACK BABY JESUS IN HIS LITTLE GOLDEN DIAPER FOR BLESSING ME WITH NOT PREGNANT
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
i'm at work, alone, drinking a spiced chai & fireball hot toddy. holiday OT isn't that bad after all.
Randomize
