sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
Covered in glitter and dick. 2010 feels a lot like 2009.
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Someone in my history class just FB messaged me saying they highly suggest I put my sunglasses on. He is sitting 18 rows in front of me...
Yes, that was ME getting carried out of the club singing 'i believe i can fly'
door buzzer is fixed. took shots with Latvian electrician to celebrate. nice guy. he is gonna bring mixers next time cuz kombucha didn't really cut it for him.
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I like the fact that you've for some reason taken my penis into protective custody
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Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Well, if it makes you feel any better I'll be drinking tequila and doing lines on Halloween. Just like old days.
The night was crazy enough that we did a workout. Instructed by the bouncer at 2am
Thank you. I woke up with a beard hair in my mouth. Super classy.
I went 670% over budget on my vacation. My accountant would flip if he weren't me.
How the fuck do you have so much free time?
Polyphasic sleep schedule.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...