i am not listening to taylor swift on a pink ipod. totally not happening.
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
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The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
whatever buzz i had immediately ended when i saw her run through a sliding glass door
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I drink more single than I do in relationships. Except with assface.
I want "hickeys on my ass" sex
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Denial and avoidance are my survival strategies for 2013.
Denial, avoidance and beer.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
He's so twisted that he's acting out Dragon Ball-Z by himself. The Tanquray and THC combo doesn't play around.
you told the police officer you wanted to be just like her one day but not a lesbian
I am going to go back to drinking and listneing to Hanson now. Maybe crying. Or perhaps Full House reruns
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.