i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
oh wait, my morality sensor is a little fucked up since I almost let my little sister's friend blow me.
You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
These 25 Drunks Should’ve Gotten Cut Off A Long Time Ago
This gyro tastes like lonliness
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Well, I plan on starting the night dressed as little red riding hood. Then I plan on finishing the night dressed as a shit show in a red cape.
Just threw up. It looks like I may have swallowed a cigarette.
He kept checkin to make sure you were still alive after you passed out on his bed, After like the 4th time he walked back in there you were naked on his bed eating an apple, claiming he needed to be the Adam to your Eve..That drunk..
27 Freshmen Who Really Didn’t Know What They Were Getting In To
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
Ughhh I can't remember the last time "time fell back or springed forward" and I wasn't at the bar to argue about it :(
Two of my roommates are waxing their vaginas in the living room. Can I come smoke?
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?