So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
We are the drunkest people in Toys R' Us right now
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
Meanwhile I am sitting on the couch with a 32 ounce rum and coke trying to decide if I'm too drunk to go get french fries.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
Is it too early to start pregaming for St. Patty's?
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
You're telling that to the kid drinking Jack in nothing but a graduation cap
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
Who is naked dude in the kitchen?
Randomize
