this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
You don't understand, alcohol has become a thing of survival for me and without it I can't function as a normal human being
I just watched a girl in the library pull a vodka bottle out of her bag. I think I'm going to give her my number.
Still burping lighter fluid. Totally awful.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
to whom it may concern. if i am dead in colleens bed it is not her fault i slept in my scarf. my dads middle name is ronald.
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Omg just had weirdest best cab advice situation ever. I kissed the cabbies hand as I was leaving like he was the pope and cried
You were wearing a cookie monster onesie and telling everyone you were actually the sausage monster..
On the bright side I still got laid
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
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