Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Btw kudos to your tongue last night. Sorry about that lady jizz in your beard.
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
I'm really sorry I bit your mom last night, it was completely uncalled for.
Just boned her on my desk. on top of my term paper. take that professor dipshit
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
The neighbor just poured gasoline on his 2 brush fires and proceeded to shoot Roman candles at them 🤔
Randomize
