dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
that's fine. btw we still need $500 for the donkey...
I just want to make him a cookie cake that says "you have no chance with me."
I want to poop on a bird, just to show them what it's like.
She helped me organize my comics and then blew me. This is the one.
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
I fucked her to her "thinking of him" playlist. Sucks to be that guy haha
we found him in the shower with a bottle of jose saying "this is Mexico's fault"
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..
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