just saw someone puke all over a michigan fan. he didn't even flinch.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
sudden memory flashback: you and i having sex on the bed, erin sitting naked in your desk chair drinking whiskey straight from the bottle while harassing you for your computer password to play some "mood music." high five. go us.
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
Will you push me around in a wheel chair, introduce me to people, and say nothing as I get up and walk away?
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
omg i just made best friends with a deer. Im like the drunk santa clause.
There's a certain feeling that only comes from wearing pearls to hide hickeys
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
I'm pathetic. I'm eating cream puffs in the bath and crying a little.
Brah, we should get a "do not disturb sign"... I can't have people knocking on the door while I'm high, it fucks with me way too much.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
I would just like to say that I had morning sex today to the Hamilton soundtrack. So.
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
