wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
I don't know where I am but there are firefighters
I just won unlimited hot dogs for life. I'm so glad I smoked
Only mom could turn an abortion day into a shopping day
Omg.....I raised my camera to take a pic at this presentation, and I wanted to zoom in, so I swiped my phone to the left and up pops my dick pic from last night.
I can't bring myself to turn around to see if pple saw it.
I don't think you understand. Its the best fauxhawk you've ever seen. I look like a gay dinosaur.
That's the most beautiful thing I've ever heard. Can I call you littlefoot?
I slept with an Israeli and a Palestinian in the same day. It feels wrong.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
I don't want a baby! I JUST WANT AN ORGASM THAT ISN'T SELF INFLICTED.
My mouth feels like it's at the dentist but my body feels like it's at the strip club.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
I can't tell if this is a hangover or just a perfect combination of shame and regret
sorry for running off in the middle of that heart to heart. free food.
Randomize
