I CAN MOONWALK!
were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
so wait, they're fucking, but it doesn't count as cheating cause they only do anal?
Obama just said the words "we're all in this together." I wanted to start singing high school musical
I five year old is judging me because I just opened a bottle of Sam Adams with my teeth before 8am
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
He ran into the surf holding up a cigarette yelling "let the Olympic games begin!" So no, no vodka left.
My head is just one big fuzz right now.. Its like someone replaced my brain with a teddy bear
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
The whole time you were apparently enduring your pukescapades, I was singing very loudly in the car to Beyonce on my way to get a post-coitus Diet Coke.
He called me Kitten either just because or he figured out my old s&m life. Either way huge turn on.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
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