I gave her the chance to be interesting and she failed. So then I gave her a chance to be slutty and she failed at that too.
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
And then i made him answer questions about me before i took off my clothes
I wish you had a penis so you could experience peeing out the window in front of a crowd of people leaving parties.
He told us that was the only place he could get service when we found him in the closet passed out with a beer
he confused my yawn for an orgasm
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
I am pretty great at coffee and mistakes
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
yeah....try hearing them in person. it sounds like two muppets going at it
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
Randomize
