I wish I could be a nicer person. Or a more sober one.
I couldn't deal, she's a vegetarian. Every woman should like a little meat in their mouths.
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
Is it horrible that I want to keep my purple landing strip until after my gyno apt? I feel like someone beside myself should see it...
No. He burped at a 3 year old, roared at him and proceeded to scream at the kid's parents to watch their child. The manager of Olive Garden was on our side.
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
We're gonna have horrible, horrible babies.
I was hooking up with him and then someone banged on the door and shouted "When you get the chance, will you put the weed on the veranda?"
I tried to break it off with the married one. He offered to pay off my car.
The side bitch struggle is real.
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Visibly drunk girl eating alone at a souplantation just spilled salad all over her body. It was me
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
Nothing like introducing yourself to your high school boyfriend's wife as "the girl who took his virginity"
Why is no one on Snapchat tonight? I want to see other people having fun so I know it still exists.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize
