How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Memo to self- delete texts about butt sex from you before giving my mom my old phone to use.
Fact: The drinking you do in college doesn't affect your liver in real life.
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
God you people are gross. Come collect your unconscious friend.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Going to an AA meeting just so I can fuck him...That's dedication
That awkward moment when the dude you blew on camera in college friend requests you on Facebook.
Who is this?!????
That awkward moment when you think you're texting a friend the above statement, but instead you text a stranger.
Uh, he still talks to you after you basically sexually harassed him using emojis?
He's taking me to Tao. This is going to be so weird. How do you go on a first date with a guy that has seen you naked more times than clothed?
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
The cop asked me why my pants were around my knees when he woke me from the sink, i replied "Officer, my underwear is still on, nothing bad happened" then he nodded in acknowledgement and we carried on with the paper work.
I just got dumped by my fuck buddy. Now I have to have sex with my husband.
Randomize
