So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
he was so nervous about his first time.. it was like michael j. fox trying to put on a condom...
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
You were spooning an empty magnum of white wine in the middle of the bed so I slept on the couch
Well at least there's no more confusion about your place in my life. Wine > pizza > your dick > the rest of you.
Love you...
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
look on the scale of 1 to the time you hit an old lady with your car chlamydia barely even rates
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Shia just rubbed his beard the way I do all the time and maybe he's my soul sister. This live stream is life changing.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Just saw a hotel with a bunch of mattresses in the parking lot. Made me think of you.
I'll give you another blowjob if you bring me some cake.
Randomize
