I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
I'm giving you permission to use the abortion money to pay for your DUI.
I'm sending you this that that when you wake up and see the girl sleeping next to you, you know who to thank
They'd unbutton the overalls with their lesbian-tongues. It wouldn't even be a problem.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
Found a 10-can wizard staff hidden in our closet. Did we cut someone off?
That's yours. We cut you off.
i keep looking at my boobs and it just baffles me how he could give this up.
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
This guy is selling weed on the train. Like... Straight up. No fucks given.
When you're all settled in, text me, and I can sorta apologize for saying that your phone can suck my dick. What I really meant to say is that your Windows phone can suck my Android phone's dick.
I'm sorry about all of the innappropriate shoe throwing
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
So is it weird that I am super excited for my new captain america clit ring... Or is my crotch getting too patriotic
Randomize
