I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
You kept hiding marshmallows in the freezer saying "they would never think to look here"
They just both started mumbling "i cant go home like this" "it's all over my face" "do you have extra pants?"
Hes still mad that I left the room mid-hookup to go get a pickle from the fridge.
I have reverted to folding laundry while watching porn. how much sadder can my life get?
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
I think the moment I knew you were going to black out was when I told you how many shots you had already and you were shocked and then poured another one
Is it morally wrong to give today's hookup a Krispy Kreme from yesterday's hookup or is it just fat love?
Woke up with two different flip flops on sum burnt at the beach. Who are these French kids plz come back
If he doesn't fuck you on the 4th of July, he doesn't really love this country.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
Also I just took the BEST ass selfie of my adult life.... it's gonna be a good day haha
the walk of shame isn't very shameful when your mom tells you she's proud of you.
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