He looks like Spencer from the game Dreamphone
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
We play beat the clock every morning. When the alarm goes off, she hits snooze and drops her panties. If I can't finish in time to beat the snooze, she jumps in the shower and I've gotta jerk off.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I found a video of myself completely naked on my phone giving a drunk tutorial on how to shit properly while blindfolded. Did you record it?
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
YOU CHEATED ON ME WITH THE WOMAN THAT IS STAYING AT YOUR HOUSE. FORGIVE ME IF IM NOT THINKING YOUR A DEDICATED BOYFRIEND.
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
He said his fantasy involved both of us fucking while stuffed into the same overalls
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
why is there a shopping cart in my back seat? and a dick drawn on the side of my car?
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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