If i come over, it means nothing
he's super hid and wouldn't leave us alone so i snatched his phone and started texting lovelink (thanks for a well-timed commercial) that will cost him money. muhahaha
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
I don't think I'd trust a marching band with trampolines to not cause serious damage to themselves/ property.
Just came during my obgyn appt. I need to get laid.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Well I just walked into a wedding reception and im currently eating a cannoli in the men's room while pissing
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
thought a girl was checking me out today. took me like 5 minutes to realize it was a mannequin
.It's like gods test of willpower against vaginal comfort
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
OMG MY DAD TOLD ME HE MIGHT DO TINDER
It was the scariest thing ever having a flame that close to my balls...
He took off all my clothes, fingered me, than said "would you be more comfortable if I was naked too?"
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