Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (617): View more from Massachusetts

  She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.

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  (617): She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her. http://tfl.nu/25nb
  Replies (123) Good night (1192) Bad night (4672)
• Favorite

  (407): View more from Florida

  I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate

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  (407): I want to leave work and go home and eat Five Guys and masturbate http://tfl.nu/yf54
  Replies (64) Good night (4829) Bad night (1008)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.

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  (214): bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink. http://tfl.nu/4c2j
  Replies (39) Good night (5682) Bad night (734)
• Favorite

  (205): View more from Alabama

  im getting a BJ in a closet

  (205): View more from Alabama

  and a penguin just handed me a bong

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  (205): im getting a BJ in a closet (205): and a penguin just handed me a bong http://tfl.nu/oarm
  Replies (60) Good night (12468) Bad night (941)
• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet.

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  (214): You came in at two thirty, wearing your underwear and a tie then asked where you could find a sombrero and a pair of stilletos that would fit your men's size thirteen feet. http://tfl.nu/ajf1
  Replies (23) Good night (7553) Bad night (1063)
• Favorite

  (209): View more from California

  I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart.

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  (209): I just remembered before I gave him head I couldn't find a hair tie and he offered to hold my hair up. Maybe we were wrong.. Maybe he does have a heart. http://tfl.nu/dd9c
  Replies (21) Good night (7009) Bad night (947)
• Favorite

  (917): View more from New York City

  Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage?

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  (917): Can the rest of this semester just go by as a montage? http://tfl.nu/cpvo
  Replies (12) Good night (5508) Bad night (890)
• Favorite

  (415): View more from California

  dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.

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  (415): dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint. http://tfl.nu/divk
  Replies (25) Good night (9313) Bad night (1342)
• Favorite

  (646): View more from New York

  She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers."

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  (646): She told me I was lying in front of her toilet for an hour saying "lasers." http://tfl.nu/lbn1
  Replies (5) Good night (2701) Bad night (929)
• Favorite

  (985): View more from Louisiana

  Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.

  (504): View more from Louisiana

  That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.

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  (985): Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world. (504): That's so nerdy and hot at the same time. http://tfl.nu/tw1i
  Replies (2) Good night (2448) Bad night (713)
• Favorite

  (703): View more from Virginia

  I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge

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  (703): I think it was the free bomb shots from the creepy bolivians that sent us over the edge http://tfl.nu/z423
  Replies (3) Good night (837) Bad night (528)
• Favorite

  (902): View more from Pr Edwrd Is, Nva Sctia

  Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2

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  (902): Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2 http://tfl.nu/oegq
  Replies (5) Good night (835) Bad night (854)
• Favorite

  (216): View more from Ohio

  Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick

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  (216): Why did this happen to me why did I have to meet him if I could go back in time I never would have grabbed his dick http://tfl.nu/45q6
  Replies (3) Good night (473) Bad night (360)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.

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  (360): I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing. http://tfl.nu/0ouw
  Replies (8) Good night (693) Bad night (441)
• Favorite

  (903): View more from Texas

  The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.

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  (903): The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it. http://tfl.nu/qrrf
  Replies (1) Good night (599) Bad night (287)

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