ARI BLEW A 2.0 HAHAHAHAHAHHAHH THESE COPS ARE SO COOL!!!!
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
So excited for tonight I might actually pee my pants BEFORE I get blackout
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I know you claim to have a large penis but I do not believe in what i cannot see. Sort of like god.
You can't break up with me and ask me for a handjob on the same day. At least not in that order.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
I never should have let my cousin and his pregnant girlfriend move in with me. I'm never having sex again. They scare off men more than 'my dream wedding' pin board.
Tom is laying in a bathtub filled with ice pretending to be a polar bear.
How can I politely yet provocatively ask you for a cock shot?
Yeah. It's just like I have his virginity and he has my shoes and where do we go from here.
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
Was it you that ate my bacon or do I have to rip my roommate's face off?