Texts From Last Night

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  (317): View more from Indiana

  my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card

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  (317): my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card http://tfl.nu/9m1o
  Replies (39) Good night (1509) Bad night (3857)
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  (412): View more from Pennsylvania

  His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.

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  (412): His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'. http://tfl.nu/510f
  Replies (26) Good night (5269) Bad night (2272)
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  (970): View more from Colorado

  Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.

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  (970): Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out. http://tfl.nu/rgfe
  Replies (6) Good night (4643) Bad night (1690)
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  (859): View more from Kentucky

  thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.

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  (859): thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that. http://tfl.nu/160n
  Replies (11) Good night (6301) Bad night (1078)
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  (631): View more from New York

  well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore

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  (631): well isn't that the pot calling the kettle a make out whore http://tfl.nu/6gwp
  Replies (10) Good night (4607) Bad night (1476)
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  (867): View more from Yukon/N.W.Territory

  lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it

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  (867): lesson learned: don't narrate out loud about how a girl is giving you head while she's doing it http://tfl.nu/o5td
  Replies (9) Good night (1854) Bad night (4380)
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  (941): View more from Florida

  I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special

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  (941): I love waking up with his head head between my legs, it makes me feel special http://tfl.nu/g9sh
  Replies (11) Good night (5946) Bad night (1147)
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  (518): View more from New York

  he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home!

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  (518): he just left. I blew him in my kitchen while my parents slept down the hall. Welcome back home! http://tfl.nu/koxv
  Replies (12) Good night (3713) Bad night (1020)
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  (570): View more from Pennsylvania

  I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.

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  (570): I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink. http://tfl.nu/sq0r
  Replies (11) Good night (924) Bad night (3743)
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  (907): View more from Alaska

  Threesome in a minivan. New low

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  (907): Threesome in a minivan. New low http://tfl.nu/igpy
  Replies (15) Good night (1885) Bad night (1056)
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  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?

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  (978): The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up... (978): Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis? http://tfl.nu/mb06
  Replies (12) Good night (1871) Bad night (3773)
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  (352): View more from Florida

  But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.

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  (352): But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus. http://tfl.nu/k1xi
  Replies (3) Good night (1184) Bad night (558)
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  (712): View more from Iowa

  Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.

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  (712): Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader. http://tfl.nu/60hc
  Replies (1) Good night (1631) Bad night (548)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.

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  (501): I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it. http://tfl.nu/ipd9
  Replies (5) Good night (1328) Bad night (1002)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation...

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  (803): He just sent me the contact information about getting the Zebra for graduation... http://tfl.nu/sr4l
  Replies (0) Good night (703) Bad night (382)

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