Now you know why i just sit on the toilet and scream
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
did the walk of shame through a baseball field. .A little league game was going on. Proceeded to buy a hot dog at the concession stand. the looks were priceless.
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She made me role-play everything from an older prof to a in-patient in need of a medical exam. Yay for cocaine.
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
My team for a project is gonna have weekly meetings at a bar. yessss. they will do all the work while i thor hammer down beers.
He was twisted. Literally. It's like God took his dick with a pair of pliers and gave it a half twist to the left.
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The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
Drunk me really needs to stop 1. telling every attractive dude in a relationship that monogamy isn't real 2. Proposing threesomes with them and their girlfriends
We couldn't leave for the bar until he spent 10 minutes adjusting his vaporizer. I want to drown him in beard oil.
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
I think I came out of my blackout as I was ordering wine from the private wedding reception.