Texts From Last Night

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  (248): View more from Michigan

  you still trying to smash that chick?

  (1-248): View more from Michigan

  it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober

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  (248): you still trying to smash that chick? (1-248): it's a losing battle and she kinda sucks. been busy with school so not getting midweek drunk - she's nearly unbearable sober http://tfl.nu/22ty
  Replies (1) Good night (893) Bad night (1141)
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  (789): View more from

  If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.

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  (789): If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days. http://tfl.nu/hp74
  Replies (26) Good night (5949) Bad night (1082)
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  (925): View more from California

  anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend.

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  (925): anyone who has a picture of a ferrari with the caption "mAh DreAM caR" is getting denied as my facebook friend. http://tfl.nu/wrr6
  Replies (21) Good night (5391) Bad night (1026)
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  (803): View more from South Carolina

  Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning

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  (803): Why am I drunk on a roof painting at 11 in the morning http://tfl.nu/hoox
  Replies (25) Good night (4701) Bad night (1206)
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  (937): View more from Ohio

  [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight]

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  (937): [insert really romantic bullshit about how much i love you and how beautiful you are so you will suck my dick tonight] http://tfl.nu/2cq7
  Replies (29) Good night (11747) Bad night (2738)
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  (585): View more from New York

  I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei?

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  (585): I just realized i came back home with my lei that one night. How do i forget my bra but remember my lei? http://tfl.nu/dlk1
  Replies (22) Good night (3627) Bad night (1073)
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  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped

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  (781): she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped http://tfl.nu/pl2z
  Replies (8) Good night (1876) Bad night (1069)
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  (406): View more from Montana

  Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.

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  (406): Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body. http://tfl.nu/hcjb
  Replies (6) Good night (1194) Bad night (2513)
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  (410): View more from Maryland

  I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house

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  (410): I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house http://tfl.nu/84we
  Replies (5) Good night (1817) Bad night (880)
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  (303): View more from Colorado

  I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle

  (1-303): View more from Colorado

  It's like earning obesity badges

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  (303): I have 39 hot sauces from Chipotle (1-303): It's like earning obesity badges http://tfl.nu/mpfd
  Replies (3) Good night (790) Bad night (451)
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  (828): View more from North Carolina

  I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes.

  (1-828): View more from North Carolina

  Did someone catch you and fuck you?

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  (828): I picked a bad day to wear the catch me fuck me shoes. (1-828): Did someone catch you and fuck you? http://tfl.nu/onw1
  Replies (1) Good night (1188) Bad night (571)
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  (256): View more from Alabama

  I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me

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  (256): I just sent Brandon a snapchat where I wasn't wearing a shirt but had a rooster drawn on my boobs that said "cock block" and laughed for 10 minutes I have problems don't judge me http://tfl.nu/47hs
  Replies (2) Good night (992) Bad night (388)
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  (407): View more from Florida

  He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.

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  (407): He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar. http://tfl.nu/i3q4
  Replies (3) Good night (334) Bad night (1029)
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  (562): View more from California

  Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!

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  (562): Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home! http://tfl.nu/3ska
  Replies (2) Good night (538) Bad night (292)
• Favorite

  (248): View more from Michigan

  I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills.

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  (248): I just want to braid flowers into his hair and steal all of his pills. http://tfl.nu/08dn
  Replies (0) Good night (433) Bad night (286)

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