haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
Id like to know where dora the explorers parents are when she goes on all these crazy ass adventures
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
I can't decide who is the bigger alcoholic: you for opening that bottle of wine just now or me for hearing it in the other room over the air conditioner
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
thanks again for a nice night (and please don't fuck my boss)
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
I think I fucked up my elbow when I tried to fight off the paramedics.
A dick pic is not a proper way to say I'm sorry
You reached new levels of laziness. After we woke you up to take shots with us, you stayed in bed so you didn't have to move when you were drunk and sleepy
Randomize
