I hope you had to get up out of bed and walk across your room to check this text message
So I decided to put different foods on my dick to see which would feel the best
and??
Cake is only good when you eat it
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
my love horoscope just told me to "say it in frosting" should i take this literally?? i think yes.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
I may hire someone just to sell my family the drugs they keep asking me for. It's cutting into my doing drugs time.
I just realized I haven't had a date or a potential possibility of a date in about a year. Then I realized I wanted to actually go on a date. But I'm sitting here getting high instead of being at a party. Life.
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
