Hypothetical question: If I threw up in the dishwasher do I clean it up or just turn it on? :(
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
you handed the cop a condom last night and said "it's all about protect and serve right?"
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
Ladystoner tip: if eyes are bloodshot, lime green eyeliner makes them appear less red. its basic artt.
The best revenge is living well. Or pooping in his sunroof. Either or
So yeah never trust sex tips from yahoo answers
I should send him a pic of my crotch with the caption "thanks for the memories"
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
I think the best part was the fact that the stripper's lock screen was a picture of the virgin mary
I just sang beautiful by Christina Aguilera to a kebab. This is what my life has come to.
My uterus is doing all sorts of karate moves to break free of my body.
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
She was from Wisconsin, she had great boobs... I mean... It's a dairy state....
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
