Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
It's not normal to lose a tooth eating a McDouble.
i'm pretty sure i lost all sex appeal when he caught me peeing in his bushes
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i distinctly remember leaping through the apartment to rescue the clam chowder burning in the kitchen
Sex with him was like teaching a two year old how to work a machine gun
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
Fran... I put my tongue in somebody's gage hole last night.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
the texts you sent will act as the rosetta stone for all drunk people
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
I woke up with my my shoes on and pants half way off and missing 60 dollars. Please please please tell me you saw me last night.
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