Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Any night you end up on the couch next to the trash can with a bag of white wine on your head is a rough night.
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
How unacceptable would it be to bar hop with a funnel in the square? It's Halloweekend and I plan on going hard. I can claim it goes w/ my costume. But I don't think the MIMITW uses funnels.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
So is there some kind of punch card you and I get to use every time we fuck a chick with a cast?
We had a deepthroating contest with breadsticks at Olive Garden
Milk that cash cow for all the shots she's worth
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
Heard you were the one that shit off Jamie's balcony. FYI there is a cabbie down here out for blood
The stripper was dressed as the green lantern. Even for a geeky girls' bachelorette party it was lame ass.
so we have roughly decided that hes the dude all the chicks will bang in college, just so he will do their term papers
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