Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
We decided to cut you off after you insisted on eating peanuts by the dumpster
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
90% sure you snuck in there somewhere, all I really remember is big boobs in my face so I'm assuming it was you.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
i ordered 6 shots "to go" what did you think was going to happen!
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
You told me you were with a dog dressed as a taco, and it was the only one you trusted
Idk if I deserve a medal or a one way ticket to hell
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
I think I deserve an award for the breakup text I sent him. Like a pulitzer prize or a donut or something.
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