Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
i am making flyers for the homeless letting them know about free chipolte day
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
The tent neighbors already set us on fire w an errant roach. How do you think Bonnaroo's going?!
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
Her gay brother kept hitting on me and cockblocking me. Don't even begin to tell me how bad your night was.
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
Just proved I could salsa dance in a bar where no one was dancing
Sidenote...no idea how to salsa
Simple math equation: Up till 5 a.m. drinking + up at 9 a.m. for nephews birthday party = puking in the pool
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Oh god it's open bar.
Masturbated while waiting for my face mask to dry, so it was a productive night.
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