come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
You wouldn't stop asking the hibachi cook if his knife was a hattori hanzo
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
i prefer some hard alcohol, but wine makes me feel less of a progressive alcoholic
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
He threw up in a cup in the limo and when he got out the bouncer told him he couldn't bring drinks in so he gave the glass to that dumb girl we brought with us from c street.
I know, she tried to drink it
I think I saw maybe 3 ugly girls the entire time we were there
Yea its like that frat house was built to keep fat chicks out of parties
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
Some girl took her panties off, soaked them in vodka and wrung them out into a line of guys' mouths! Awesome!
No, NOT awesome. Where the fuck do you go drinking!?!
Sup man, did you have a 3way this month if so it would be 3 for 3 for the house
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
he can get married early and ruin his life but he sure as hell isn't ruining mine with a shitty bachelor party
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
Randomize
