Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
I just found a porn show called cleavagefield. no i am not watching.
I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
I miss waking up, opening the closet downstairs, and finding you inside passed out.
I just had a heart to heart with a stripper I'm becoming a dentist.
You rode him down the last flight of stairs like a human sled.
On that note I give you a 10 for sticking the landing and staying on the whole ride.
Yeah dude. Pulled out the couch and a bird flew at me. Please tell me who put a bird in my house.
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
At least now when I say "never again" the likelihood is that it won't actually happen again the next weekend...that my friend is called growth
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I appear to have wine on my toes. I am really not clear as to how this happened. I'm gonna have a little lie down.
Just fyi i'm now butt naked in a steam room smoking a bong in some guys house. i sense the weed penetrating my pores.
Randomize
