you were crying and the really sympathetic homeless man offered you a sip of his whiskey. who was i to stop you?
Capitaan dildo arrescate!
i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched nsync videos for the past half hour and you could totally tell lance bass was gay in all of them
Why is there an appointment in my calandar called "get the fuck to the bus" at 3 am june 19th?
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
Love is....waiting for your girl to throw up her shot in the bathroom...then handing her her beer. Game face.
I just had a mental image of us riding a tractor through hell with one of those big guns mounted on top of it shooting at everyone while the indiana jones music plays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
I slid a quarter down a drunk man's butt crack last night. Qdoba gets rowdy
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Guess who just set half their backyard on fire.
Please tell me youre joking.
Nope. on the brightside though, im really gonna quit smoking this time.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
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