i just told my boss to make it rain at camelot later...what is wrong with me?
Dear tim. Christina farted and it smells like kid roses.
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No subtext here. People are naked.
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Living room yoga. I'm too hungover to deal with anyone else's chi today.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fuckers are stealing our internet and making my porn stream slowly so I changed the password for VanceRefrigeration to RyansaCunt. No spaces but capitalization.
I've fallen from my one moral pedestal
I was chasing disarono with Bacardi and watching ice cube movies. It would have been an epic birthday if I wasn't by myself and actually had some decent friends.. Hint. Asshole.
THERE IS WEED IN MY OVEN. HOW AM I EVER SUPPOSED TO MAKE CHICKEN PARMESAN WITH WEED IN MY OVEN.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
i had sex with a girl named after a fruit last night and it was the best thing to happen to me in 2020
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