At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
I need a leather bustier to keep them in.
Too kinky for 11:30am. Stop that.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
He invited me to see "alison wonderland" WHAT THE FUCK THATS NOT A FIRST NAME/LAST NAME TYPE DEAL
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
Drunk me made out with someone's girlfriend last night, was invited to their place for a semi-threesome, and then walked home at three am. Can't decide if this is better or worse than drunkenly challenging everyone to taekwondo sparring matches...
Okay so, sorry but last night we had to put a note on your chest and a key around your neck just so you would make it home.
tried to make it look like I had been conscious/awake and out all day when I stumbled into cvs at 6pm to buy plan B
update: I failed
Specially since he wanted to forget that we even touched, which makes it funnier because I don't think you can take back licking someone's butthole...
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
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