rhymes with "ouble enetration"
Soooo, if his status went from married to single and he deleted all the pictures of his kids does that mean he's up for dibbs?
I'm going to look like a jackass in the Mexican newspaper tomorrow.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
You never know true fear until you're on your period in a house full of white furniture.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
You faceplanted on the railroad tracks and when I tried to tell you to get up, you told me you were "taking a quick breather"
I wrote him a note at the end of the final. I'm hoping I can flirt my way in to an A or B
I hope no one at work can tell or smell that I have tequila in my hair and I haven't showered for days
It doesn't matter how nice the shirt you wore to the bar was, you still shouldn't have worn it to a job interview
I puked on someone's floor last night and then they proceeded to ask me on a date.
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