Do you know that poor pathetic girl that we should be friends with
Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
All I remember is this kid kept saying that he has a dream that white kids and black kids can take shots together as one, and just we'd keep drinking to that.
What am I doing with my life
Sleeping with dudes who have peacocks apparently.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
Guys, as my favorite vagina consultants I have to share something.
My professional advice is not to put lemons in your lady pocket.
well tomorrow I get to eat fungus and go to an abandoned city.
most people would fear that statement, but i wish to join you
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
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