so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
would you consider dating someone with braces an investment?
Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
dude i just saw a drunk guy attempt to get by IUPD and throw a uprooted bleacher seat over the edge of the stadium. funniest thing of life.
details please.
they caught him 10 rows from the top. the first thing he said was "wait I can explain, i just have to throw this over first."
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
I went out in a blaze of glory. I failed the field sobriety test by saying ABCD FUCK YOU.
Seriously? What part of meeting at Oktoberfest while I'm wearing a dirndl, double fisting, and making out with random guys screams "i'm girlfriend material"?!
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
What made this night legendary was getting pulled over for looking suspicious while wearing an iron man mask
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
Randomize
