Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
Definitely still drunk while signing the 'responsible adult' form at the hospital
smoking weed is really the only logical conclusion to hangovers
so the plumber came, he found condoms, feathers and glitter in the pipes.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
This is going to be a 3 day beach sex fest. Do you understand
Were gonna hotbox in the trunk. I think there's room for another half of a person if you're interested
Dear, was it your thong we found wrapped around my hairbrush next to Rachel's bed? Please explain.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Did you really get up in the middle of a tattoo to go get Taco Bell?
I'm coming right back.
Someone's shaving their pubes at work every Monday and it's starting to piss me off
I mean come on
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
Randomize
