i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
The only way I could get him to agree to hook up with her is telling him I'd hook up with him next week.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
Although I commend your efforts to keep my penis away from her, your sister is now booty walking up my stairs. Good game though, good game.
I found my limit. I will not, in fact, blow my 78 year old professor for an A in his class.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
My fart just smelled like the inside of white castle, I mean spot on, no difference whatsoever.
so apparantly i made out with 24 santas last night...and an elf...and a stoner
I think my moral compass just broke
I'm having to shit out rocks
Randomize
