I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
i just remembered the time you guys tried to give me an intervention because i was drunk before 5 on a monday
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
He's not so smart and obsessed with sex and lacks listening comprehension skills. I feel like i'm dating a sexually competent sesame street character.
Did you really just call a picture of your erect penis art?
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Like who turns down taking a nap inside of someone in 2014.
Sigh. I'll find the right guy one day.
Prince charming is right around the corner and will be freaky as shit!
I need ecstasy. And, before you ask, the answer is yes right now
I would drive 12 hours round trip for you to have an orgasm, cause that's friendship
Autocorrect changes "sex" to "sec". I have been so long without it my phone thinks I made a mistake.
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
