chick im bringing home just asked our cab driver if she could do a line off his turban. i think im in love - or trouble.
am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It's sad really how 5 am brings with it a distinction from drunken to pathetic.
We simultaneously blacked out then simultaneously came to then simultaneously had sex with the neighbors. We're definitely meant to be roommates.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
show concern. Mark ate a butterfly and proceeded to drink more shots like nothing happened
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
I may just have to resign myself to life in flats. He's a sexy little chipmunk that worships me.
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