listen. just hotwire a car, take off the license plate, make up a new one on a sheet of paper and go the speed limit. i do it like, at least 3x a week.
Just caught my bro jerking off to a lane Bryant catalog
Is pulling weed out of a vagina a good thing or a bad thing?
i cant believe i hit a parked car with a pink dildo in my mouth... fuckin epic
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
dude, never let a drunk girl playbite your dick. the doctor came in laughed and left.
Sonogram pictures belong on a fucking fridge...NOT FACEBOOK!!
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
Some great men died of syphilis. I accept your compliment.
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Dude she gave you head while I was in the closet, we've passed the "awkward" phase.
Don't pretend you don't want to dance on the edge of overdose all three nights
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
75% of my food budget goes to wine, the rest to chips and salsa.
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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