There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
She went into the basement and sang to my cat for three hours....she actually has a beautiful voice....
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
She just texted me that she's horny, then started quoted random music, then telling me everything she regrets. I don't think there's enough tequila in the world for me to deal with her...
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Bringing my cat to a booty call was not my finest hour
He ripped my sink off my bathroom wall and then threw up in it.
How are you and the lady friend?
Well, she's a lunatic, and I love sex, so we're good.
Randomize
