he was CRYING into my vagina
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
He yelled out my full name in bed...I felt like I was being scolded.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
Just saw a midget on a motorcycle. Best sight for a hangover ever.
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
My liver and I thought we knew what we signed up for. We were wrong.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
I want to go to a gay rodeo for my cross country road trip. It'll be like my very own homo country boy pilgrimage to the holy land.
I got laid while wearing a shirt with a picture with my little brother deep throating a banana on it.
Just had hot animal sex with the guy who had been sending me 10 second selfie snapchats for the past month
Long story short I'm making an I'm sorry card for a girl I dont remember having sex with
I fit in backpacks. BOOM HERE I AM! Like a stripper from a cake.
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
EVERYBODY CALM YOUR SHIT
Randomize
