this guy just used the pickup line "God must have spent a little more time on you" I recognized the nsync lyric immediately.
the three of them together have enough kids to fill a barney live audience.
Hey man, did I leave the bottom drawer to my refrigerator that I had beer in at your house by any chance?
When you hit the 45 minute mark of any argument about The Flintstones, you have to realize: it's no longer you arguing, it's the cocaine arguing.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
Did you get any last night. I need to track my forever aloneness
It's my 3rd annual 21st birthday party. Disney themed. There will be blood.
Remember when you fed me goldfish while I was -inside- of someone?
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
and then at some point during the night I ended up holding a baby
Why was a baby at a karaoke bar, and were you wasted?
only slightly. thats not the point. it was a cute baby.
Well someone is clearly not winning the parent of the year award here
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
I didn't even know we were hiding from the cops, I was just playing with the cats. People kept telling me to be quiet the cops are here and I was like DID YOU SEE THIS CAT!?
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
So how do u get your coat out of the coat room when someone is fucking on it?
Randomize
