what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
sometimes I think that if I just met him. he would have a crazy realization and fall madly in love with me. what do you say? I'm not just another fan.
If they made snuggies with a sleeve for my morning wood, id consider buying one...
bad decision saturdays are such a good decision
could you please tell me why you thought vodka soaked band aids were a good idea?
Nuts. Absolutely nuts. she just screamed in my face something about not knowing whats happening and then got tackled by a dude
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
I can't come tonight. Someone took a shit in the dressing room. A.) Clean it up or B.) Kill myself. Text back with your answer.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Watched an eagle swoop down and eat a rabbit on my walk back from your place, literally too high to handle this right now
my entire left arm went numb
you need to get that checked to make sure you're not wired to have strokes instead of orgasms
your were asleep with people making out on top of you. you didn't even look bothered by it.
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
the person she was housesitting for had a christmas card from charlie sheen on the fridge so we fucked on the couch and just slept in the bed
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