Christians are straight up FREAKS
so I woke up and found tortilla in my belly button
anyone who says 'i love you' and then followed by 'im going to call the cops if you touch me' doesnt really mean the first part fyi
I tried to cut him off and he said "I was the president of a fraternity for 3 years, I could outdrink God."
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
i think smoking weed in a ladies bathroom on the beach with two dudes might be the shadiest thing ive done in a while
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
There's just no proper way to thank a man for that many consecutive orgasims.
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
Do we have to do this party tonight? I'm worried my bed will miss me...
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize