I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
i dont care that its taken 20 hrs to pee without hurting, BEST HATE SEX EVER.
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
This girl is drinking wine and watching grey's anatomy in the library during finals week. I hate comm majors.
Hmmm just stalked him and according to his facebook he wants "whatever he can get." obviously he'd be open to the idea.
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
he was like the dessert in the all you can eat man buffet that has become my life.
I'm laying in bed with a case of beer,.. That's how this break up is going..
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
So glad the long weekend is over so I can bring this bender to a merciful end.
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.