It's not true, it's not true! She's too full of cheese to have sexy time!
Welcome to my life. currently drinking beer through two straws. easier/faster that way.
You know you're hung over when your pose in art class is lying face down on the platform
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
im kinda looking forward to winter break. ive been away from home for so long i think i can trick my vagina into thinking that these arent the same people ive been hooking up with since high school...
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Welcome to the first annual slutathon and let the men be ever in our favor
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
I swear to fucking god if he takes away netflix I will have no problem sending his gf our sex videos
I just need some of your time and all of your body.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
somehow I wound up on the floor crying about his beard. then telling everyone I'd give him a "lesbian blowjob".
If you find out what that means, show me.
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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