I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
her moans were so awkward that i kept asking "what" when she'd say my name...
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
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On a scale of your daily life to smuggling crack into the DR, how illegal is it?
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
Whatever. I'll just fuck him now and deal with the clingyness later.
At this point i guess a traditional, non-life-threatening pity fuck is too much to ask for
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Every time I try to do something productive I end up searching ghost porn.
Was I trying to make a threesome happen again?!
Yep
I need to stop doing that, Im gonna get punched in the face
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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