im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
I just wiped my vajayjay with snow. Bad idea.
Homeless guy on the metro is drinking beer out of a coke bottle. Hello friend.
I'm not liking this ratio of moving to blowjobs...
She makes me want to eat babies and throw kittens in pots of boiling water.
I didn't realize how drunk I was until my vagina was in the snow.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
It's funny because every time I go up and down the stairs it's an adventure. A A DRUNK ADVENTURE. PS I ALREADY THREW UP WTF
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
The car smells like weed is an understatement.
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
Randomize
