dude did u upper deck my toilet?
haha like two months ago
i cleaned the bathroom like ten times before i realized what the smell was.....i hate u
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
when your hometown is famous for abortion clinic bombings, hurricanes, and jude law's newest bastard, its probably time to move.
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
hanging out with you guys is like living the wikipedia entry for drugs...not sure i can handle that tonight.
If you two are having sex, stop. I have something really important to ask you about psychics.
He refused to pierce my nipples, saying they are the best he's ever seen and that blemishing them would be a crime
She busted her face in a tragic twerking accident. Marking the 2nd time I have peed my pants laughing.
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Have you ever looked death in the face and have the urge to shit yourself. I'm in that situation right now.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Randomize
