You can't special order awesome
is it trashy that while he was throwing up in the bathroom, i was hooking up with his childhood best friend?
Why did you video tape me drying my boxers in the microwave?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
He refused my I'm sry gift of ANAL. That's how angry he was.
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You stumbled in the house, mumbled something about a cheese party, grabbed a block of cheese and the whiskey, and left.
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
Well that's the first time I've woken up with wet jorts
I talk a lot when I drink rum. he was going down on me and i was telling him how i wished i could tap dance. oh god
I just remembered that you tried to trade me for a glass of wine
This is the fourth day in a row I woke up with cheetos spread around me in a ritual pattern..this weed is unreal
ever since I turned 21 the mother-daughter bonding sessions always end with whiskey and my little pony. I don't know why, it's just a thing that happens
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
Mom just walked in on a bj. IT'S WHATEVER.
Randomize
